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Submitted by: Tamara Pray Frazier
Have you ever tried to walk a mile in someone elses shoes? Did your feet automatically slide to the right or to the left? Were the shoes too big or too small for you? Ill bet they werent as easy to walk in as your own shoes. Thats because your shoes have been broken in and they know exactly how to hug your feet to give you the most comfort. Comfort Now theres a word you wont find when you try to put your feet in someone elses shoes; especially if those shoes are worn out or are just too tight!
Sometimes when we are at the window looking into someone elses life, its easy to pass judgment based on what we see at that particular moment. Ive always been told to believe none of what I hear and only half of what I see and frankly, I think maybe half is too much. I say this because for a long time, I was the person standing at the window looking in-passing judgment on other people simply because they looked or behaved a certain way. It wasnt until people began looking into my window and I had to experience the pain of hurtful rumors and misjudgments that I began to slip my feet into other peoples shoes.
At the age of nineteen, I was carefree and single. I had been in one relationship that was basically puppy love. I was happy go lucky, and very self-righteous. I couldnt understand how a young lady could find herself pregnant without a husband and I was very vocal about it. Guess what happened to my self-righteous behind? In a span of 5 years I fell in love two times and became a single mother not one or two times, but three. And to add insult to injury, my children were fathered by different men. I didnt just fall from that high window seat, I fell, rolled over and bumped my head-and finally came to my senses! Not only did I have to change from my stiletto heels, I had to come to terms with walking in those battered single mama tennis shoes that I looked down on. Only then did I realize that those shoes arent so comfortable and not many people intentionally put their feet into them.
Yes, putting yourself into someone elses shoes is definitely uncomfortable but it is something that I force myself to do every time the self righteous goblin tries to rear its ugly head. Lets face it, it is so easy to look at someone, size them up and deem them less than but Ive learned the hard way; you cannot take anything at face value. Things are not always what they seem. People are not always who they seem and a lot of times we look at that pretty, shiny wrapper and think weve struck gold. Well, if you would slip your foot into those Gucci loafers and walk around in them for a little while, you might realize they are not really made out of leather. Sometimes we overlook our blessings because our nose is too far up in the air.
Taking a short journey in someone elses shoes is one of the most surefire ways for me to stay balanced and honest. Ive stepped into a dancers shoes when I was tempted to judge her not knowing she had children to feed. Ive stepped into a disabled persons shoes more often than I can remember. These are the tightest shoes Ive ever worn but they taught me not to complain about the small stuff we able bodied folks take for granted. Ive even stepped into my boss shoes when I got mad at her for being so tough. By stepping into her sensible pumps, I realized how hard it was wearing Boss Lady Shoes when you have subordinates who think women should stay in the kitchen.
So the next time you see someone on the streets, in church or at your work place and youre tempted to pass judgment on them based on the way they look, talk or act , put yourself in their shoes. You never know what a person is going through or what circumstances they live with every day. You never know, maybe they were placed in your path to make a difference in your life or for you to make a difference in theirs. MaybeJust maybe they are there for you to share your shoes.
About the Author: Tamara Pray Frazier is a freelance writer and author who likes to write true life stories that often uses her very colorful life as a reference tool. She is the author of one book titled, In His Own time A Story of Family, Friends and Courage. To learn more about her book or her work, visit
In His Own Time